2:06 p.m. - 06.03.04
The Pros and Cons of Breathing

As I watched my best friend (TV) yesterday I was assaulted on so many levels by the shear terror of what VH1 put on screen.

It�s enough to send me screaming into next week. Now I like KISS. I think they are a pretty good band�and I want to marry Peter Criss. But why, why I ask you did there have to be Mini Kiss. It represents everything that is wrong and evil (sorry little people) in the world. I won�t lie and say I�m tolerant of everyone because well that would be a huge lie. I don�t like a lot of people and I�m a snob. I know this. But midgets really freak me out. They just do. There is no getting around it. I don�t hate them they scare me. Like some people are afraid of clowns. The clown didn�t do anything to offend them it�s just the fact that they are dressed as a clown. They may be a nice person really�of course the people I�m afraid of are born with their quality while clowns are a life choice. The makeup eventually comes off. Why I am continuing to go on about this is beyond me. I don�t need to defend myself to you people.

I went to get my pop-tart out of the vending machine this morning. I typed in the letter and the number and instead of a Pop-Tart it was Starburst� Okay I said that really sucks I don�t even like Starburst. So I put more money in and typed in the number again�YET AGAIN a Starburst fell. Alright I hadn�t had coffee yet this morning so maybe I�m reading the thing incorrectly. Nope, yep it said F4 I typed in F-fucking-Four (that be a lot of fs) Starburst was supposed to be E4�I put another 75 cents into the demon machine and I finally got my Pop-Tart. Now I�m looking at it and I don�t even want the stupid thing. Anybody want a Pop-Tart? I�ll DHL it to you. How about some Starburst?

As I�m reading Television without pity today I kept getting this weird feeling that something was moving off to my left. I�d look nothing would be there�so I continued reading. Yet there it was again. I stare at the already creepy ad with Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie and realize they are blinking at me. Damn you fox. Are you good for anything?

The boss hasn�t extended me yet so basically I�m working for free up here. GRRRR I don�t need this. Today has officially started sucking. Harry Potter tonight�possibly but probably not, though they don�t have a problem with me leaving I don�t know if we�ll be able to get tickets now. I need to get a credit card. Well the Parks Mall has tickets still available. I fucking hate Arlington but I�ll suffer. Oh yes I will.

Even if you like Kerry you have to admit this is funny.

Dear Mr. Cosby-

Will you please be my dad this week? Thanks

Elizabeth

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