10:51 p.m. - 05.20.05
WAKE UP
To: God
CC: Jesus
BCC: Medard of Noyon

Re: Songs and Such

Hey you guys. How�s it hanging? Listen we are buddies right? So I don�t know why you thought it was a good idea to try and kill everyone with your crazy heat wave today. I almost felt sorry for the schmuck outside Quiznos who had to hold the big sign. Almost. Who the hell would want a hot sub on a day like today? Haha idiots. Anyway are you trying to tell me something? It�s not funny to fuck around with people�s emotions like that.

Thanks,
Elizabeth

Dearest TV,

Hey boo, how�s it going? Listen sweetie we can work this out. But we�ve got to work together. How about more Geico caveman commercials and less ridiculous ones about drugs that don�t tell you what they do and badly acted fake college commercials?

Love you always and 4-eva,
Elizabeth

P.s. Tell Sonic I want the cute boys back.
P.p.s. If you could coldcock David Caruso, just once will do and maybe not let him have the last word in one scene, I�ll let you touch my naughty places.

Huh?

My neighbors are playing some kind of weird game of beat your child with a pole. All I hear is clanging metal and screams. Be they of terror or fun, I'm not quite adventerous enough to find out.

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