4:02 p.m. - 05.06.04
Alvin and the Chipmunks do Dallas

Get your tongue out of my mouth�The Application to be my Ex-Boyfriend

1. You are a:(and before anyone gets offended I have no aversion to non white people it's just easier to put it that way. In fact most of the guys I've dated were non-white or only half white.)

 White male 0-5 years older than me
 Non-white male 0-5 years older than me
 Incarcerated and a white male 0-5 years older than me
 Incarcerated and a non-white male 0-5 years older than me
 Cylian Murphy
 Alan Rickman
 Mongoose

2. Why do you want to be my Ex-boyfriend?

 Nothing better to do
 You�ve actually dated me already
 Needed for a r�sum�
 Trying to get back at one of your friends I�ve already dated.
 Trying to get back at one of my friends you�ve already dated.
 I have big boobs
 Want to be able to e-mail me randomly or drunkenly

3. What name will you call me that will make me shudder every time I hear it from this point on? (I�ve actually been called these�gag)

 Princess
 Kitten
 Contessa
 Buster
 Baby
 Eevee
 Eugene
 Kiffkamiffkiss

4. My birthday is in what month? (If you plan on being a good ex you will have to get this wrong and then argue with me about how your right)

5. On a date, you usually:

 Pay for everything
 Pay for nothing
 Pay for half
 Assume I�ve already eaten and only bring enough money for yourself
 Your too cool to go on dates
 Complain the whole time about how poor you are but get offended if I offer to pay.

6. What fond memory will I have of you?

 The time you dork danced to Jungle Boogie (so that�s never happened but it would be a fond memory if it did)
 The time you kidnapped my car while I was at work/school and cleaned it
 The time you wrote a sweet letter to my mom
 The time you made my dad feel really cool while talking about all his gadgets
 The time you said nice things about me to your friends and I found out after we had broken up
 That time we almost got a ticket for spending the night in my car at the park
 That time we went to the airport and pretended you had been away on a long trip.

7. What memory will I laugh at now but when it happened I was really angry with you?

 The time you almost drove my car into a lake because you were too busy trying to convince me to take my shirt off so you could stare at my boobs better.
 The time you invited me over then hung out on the computer while your weird best friend tried to make the moves on me. (wait I�m still mad about that one)
 The time you talked shit about my best friend.
 The time you tried to make me feel bad when I wouldn�t have sex with you then left town for a week without a word. (Wait I�m still mad about that one too!)
 The time you got really drunk and stuck your tongue in my roommates mouth and pretended later you thought it was me.
 That time you got your �stuff� all over the backseat of my car because you couldn�t contain yourself. (eww)
 That time you chased down the guy that threw a sprite bottle out the window because �That shit could have hit your car�.

8. The one item you�ll never get back from me�:

 Coolio CD
 Heart
 Old t-shirt
 Clover boxers
 Sunglasses
 Puka shell necklace
 Sanity

People who wear banana clips should just be shot.
People who have that is it wet or is it dry and looks wet hair should be shot right next to them.
And those people that do both should be tortured first then shot.

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