|
|
10:56 a.m. - 02.14.05 Friday night as I was on my way to the store to get Nyquil I was arrested (because of a ticket for expired registration and inspection) by the biggest asshole cop I�ve ever had the displeasure of meeting. He stunk of cigarettes and sweat and kept accusing me of having drugs. He asked me several time where my needles where. The hell? Even if I did do drugs I would have snorted them, thank you very much. After I�d calmed down in the back of the police cruiser and he was searching my car (and by searching I mean trashing) I kept thinking how I wished I had cool stuff back there. Maybe some weird sex toys or slasher horror magazines. Unfortunately just a bunch of junk, a painting, some photographs, trash and a bag of beer bottles (empty). On the way to jail I kept thinking about what I was going to write in my diary entry, which really just goes to show that I�m addicted to diaryland. It is my coke. I also had to listen to his crappy alternative music. When we got there he pulled into this garage and checked his gun and I was finally able to get the hell out of his stinky car and out of the hand cuffs. The rest is really just a blur, getting my clothes searched, changing into the orange outfit (actually I wanted to keep the pants, they were comfortable, though their cheap detergent irritated my skin), getting my fingerprints and mug shot taken. Then I got to go into a cell. The woman that was working felt sorry for me obviously and told me I could have my own cell for as long as she could manage it. That was nice though I still had to listen to white trash princesses talking about their arrests. This one girl was talking about how her boyfriend had just gotten out of prison for assaulting his ex girlfriend. Nice. The other one was trying to be as cool as her and talking about how her boyfriend got her arrested. I was not impressed. Then they thought it was hilarious when Forest Gump and company were brought in and started screaming. Maybe it would have been funny had they been actual mental patients instead of just a bunch of drunk kids. �DRINKING�S SO COOL YEAH! WE ROCK! WOOOOO�. Why is everything followed by a wooo with these people? I did get to watch The Family Guy and Futurama. Then in the morning I got to watch Cry Baby, City Slickers and the beginning of So White Trash (or something like that). I still love Cry Baby, I still hate City Slickers and Jeremy London or maybe it was Jason wtf are you doing in that stupid movie? You do play white trash well though. Yay Mullets. Finally around 10am my mom was able to bail me out. Stupid banks putting limits on ATMs. Scott told me this morning that he would have given my mom the money but that�s one of those, things I wish I�d known three days ago. Oh well. At least I now have a jail story, it�s not a great one but it�s still a story. And in the future when I�m really drunk and telling people about it I�m sure I�ll add wild lies on there. I�m just so sad that it was nothing like the porno�s I�ve seen that takes place in jails. No doing it with a hung cop. No doing it with a hot inmate. Very upsetting. Oh yeah and the shittiest part was, I had alka seltzer sitting my computer at home. One more thing I�d forgotten about. Maybe I have Alzheimer�s. Or Mad Cow Disease. Denny Crane has it. I do too. The rest of the weekend was pretty bland. I got my car out of impound, my mom took me out to breakfast and I spent the rest on cold medicine staying indoors as much as possible. I spent the night at my parent�s house on Saturday and Sunday I left my house twice, once to get gas and the other to get a sweetheart shake from Sonic. It wasn�t all that great. Mainly because I couldn�t taste it. I watched Boston Legal and Iron Chef America. I�m less and less impressed with Iron Chef America every time I watch it. At least it wasn�t a Bobby Flay battle. Weren�t the Grammy�s last night? Anyone watch them? Anyone cool on there? Probably not. Lets hope if I end up celebrating Valentines day tonight it doesn't end up like last years. Can you say oops!?! The end. Happy Valentines Day. Bank One Temperature: 175 degrees Smell Around the Office: Chloraseptic spray and Oust outdoor breeze.
|