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4:30 p.m. - 09.09.04
PART THREE IN A THREE PART WEEKEND AND WEEK SERIES...correct spelling is optional

THAT GUY...umm Fred yeah thats his name

I�ve mentioned before about this guy Fred and what a huge crush I had on him. Well I�m standing outside yesterday paying my respects to Ogdar and he walks over to say Hi to me. After he leaves Scott tells me under no circumstances is that guy straight. I should have known. Of course he was a homosexual. I found him attractive. So this is the running joke around my office now.

Tonight

Tonight I�m hanging out with Paul. Don�t really know what we are doing but that�s the plan. I always have a good time with him so it should be fun. I�m still feeling kinda crappy and Kimberly called me a little earlier to talk about her stupid boyfriend whom I hate. Yeah I hope he dies.

E-Mail

My friend Aaron�s mom got this hilarious e-mail from the nastiest mofo and we spent a good 30 minutes outside with Ogdar laughing about it. So here it is in its entirety (very long) laugh it up. I�m leaving his phone number on there feel free to call him and tell him what a schmuck he is.

Dear Jill,

I hope this message finds you well. Before I start, let me say up front that this will probably not be like any or, certainly, many letters you receive in your lifetime. I'm sorry it has taken 4 days to get back to you; believe me, my delay is not for lack of interest.

Actually, my interest in you is on so many levels it's hard to order them properly, while, at the same time, conveying to you the proper respect that a woman of your refinement and substance deserves.

Have I gotten your attention? I hope so. I also hope you will understand, when you finish reading this message, that I am a stand-up guy, and that the straightforwardness with which I write you has two sources: respect for myself and respect for you.

It's hard to top my description of you in the subject line, but I will try not to let my words get in the way of a very simple concept: wow.

You sound fantastic. You are a strikingly beautiful woman with a sense of grace and self confidence that is refreshing. You most value integrity, respect, and growth, which shows you've either been around the block a few times or that wisdom comes to you naturally. You didn't say you value love most, which, I believe, is also a testament to your wisdom. I think trust and respect are the two most important things in life, with love being third. Without trust and respect, love is nothing. Integrity and trust are really two sides of the same coin, so, in reality, you and I seem to be in full agreement on what's most important. Don't get me wrong, love is important, and can be wonderful, uplifting, exciting, and heartbreaking. We all need love.

But I do think trust and respect are more important. Great love is built upon a foundation of trust and respect. Love, itself, does not guarantee trust and respect will follow.

I know you know all this. I just wanted you to get a better sense of who I am, and why I'm writing this letter. I can't imagine a life without love, but I won't live one without trust and respect either.

Today, I am all about trust and respect; starting with myself. As I said in my Match.com verbiage, if you can look yourself in the mirror every morning, you can't help but be good to others. My life today starts and ends with self respect. As a result, I am good to other people. It's that simple. Well, it's a simple concept anyway. But many people can't live by the demands of such a simple concept. Think about all the little temptations that creep into your daily life. It's like breaking a diet. "Well, one cookie won't hurt." And it's the same with telling the truth. "Well, what's it really going to matter if I lie just a little? And, hey, if I withhold information because no one asked directly, is that really lying?" Where's that cookie? (Smile).

The truth, Jill, is I find you incredibly attractive in many, many ways. You are obviously intelligent, which is an absolute must for me, you're beautiful, thought-provoking, have a wide array of interests and tastes, are well traveled, culturally provocative, a caring mom (which is very important and very sexy), and you write well (which is also sexy as hell to me). I would love to talk to you about your son, my 2 kids, what they mean to us, how I'm going to cry like a baby when my baby girl goes off to college in a year, religion, Tim Robbins,

Jimmy Stewart (don't forget about Gregory Peck), Shakespeare, finance,

Louis Armstrong, sex, sexuality, sensuality, passion in all it's forms, sports, and the bonds of friendship. And I hope we can and do.

My resume, professionally and personally, is pretty interesting, diverse, and, yes, bears some explaining (you drink cabernet; I'll drink a black and tan). But at the heart of the matter, I'm a good man; a bright, quick-witted, sarcastic, worldly, sometimes incredibly fun guy.

And you fascinate the hell out of me, at least on paper. So what's the problem? Well, actually, there is no problem from my perspective, only more info of which you need be aware. Once you have this info, you can do with it what you wish. But in the interest of being straightforward and respectful, let me press on. (God damn, you're an interesting and sexy woman!!! This is all your fault, you know).

I don't know the last time I went on Match.com. Probably just to read the profile of someone like you who may have written. I haven't received many messages lately, because I haven't sent out any messages myself in a while. Which brings me to the main point of this diatribe, finally; I hope you have not been bored up to this point.

I met a woman in January, on Match.com of all places, and we have seen a lot of each other since. She is an extremely nice woman, and we have the kind of relationship-with great trust and respect-that is essential for me. We have such a great bond, in fact, and trust that we began a few months ago to do something neither of us had done with anyone previously. We swing with other couples or very select singles.

Take a breath.

I never got on Match.com to get into this kind of thing. I've dated a number of women, been married, etc., and I've never done this with anyone else. It just developed naturally between us. I've also never written a letter like this, so I will just be straightforward. I would be interested in you meeting both of us. Not just because I or we would meet anyone, or sleep with anyone, or anything like that. We are both professionals, intelligent, and discreet, and we are drawn to people like us. You are a beautiful, intelligent woman that we could both feel comfortable with, whether inside or outside the bedroom. In short, we could have a meaningful, intelligent conversation with you.

This is important.

If you are amenable, if you have an interest in meeting us, that's great. I don't know your sexual persuasion, and I certainly mean no insult. If you are not interested, I respect that as well. I know you did not go on Match.com for this type of adventure necessarily. I gather you desire a relationship with a man, probably monogamous, based on your profile. That's what we both went online for as well.

Our relationship has just developed into something that works for us.

We are both comfortable with it. And we both have a desire to meet someone like you, to share something special with us. Perhaps if I express my personal philosophy about meaningful relationships and sex, which has a strong mental component, you might understand better why I am so interested in meeting you.

I understand that (1) sex begins before orgasm; (2) a man doesn't have to experience orgasm to have great sex (if he truly loves to give a woman pleasure); (3) a man's orgasm isn't an END in itself but merely an event within a wondrous sexual experience; and (4) a woman's awesome potential for sexual gratification, and the mental connection necessary to enable her to reach her full potential, is the key to great sex for both a woman and a heterosexual man.

This woman I describe, Agnes, and I have an incredible connection and a fantastic sex life. Because we trust each other, we are mutually interested in exploring scenarios with other like-minded, secure people. Ideally, we are not looking for one night stands with another person or couple. We both enjoy long sessions pleasing our partner.

Giving is very big with us. Agnes is incredibly orgasmic, and enjoys multiple orgasms regularly. I am patient and have an explorer's mind. Mental connection with partners is key for both of us. Agnes is 40, petite (5'3", 107 1bs), with a lovely body, a sweet disposition, and a great mind.

We are both well educated, and feel great relationships must be more than just physical. We would enjoy getting to know you, so we can understand what motivates you and what you are comfortable with, and apply this connection in the bedroom and in our personal lives, hopefully also becoming great friends. We would love to share in you and with you all night long when we are together, exploring every sensual possibility.

Look, Jill, I know this may all be a lot for you to take in, and it is certainly out of left field coming from Match.com. I suppose I should have taken my profile off the service, but with someone like you writing me, I'm glad I didn't. I'd like to see you regardless. If you are intrigued or at all interested in meeting Agnes and me, that's wonderful. If it's not your cup of tea, I understand. If you'd like to get together, just the two of us, have drinks or dinner and great conversation, and perhaps become friends, I welcome that too. I have so much I feel we could talk about, but I don't want to kill 500 trees doing it here, especially if you've just picked yourself up out of a pool of your own vomit (smile). I hope not, but either way, let me know your thoughts.

I was compelled to tell you all this because I am drawn to you. Your profile is staggering. Seriously. There are not a plethora of women in your league, intellectually or appearance wise, and certainly not both. Had you written me 7 or 8 months ago, I would have written you back in an instant, and asked if you would do me the honor of having dinner. That attraction is real, and so too, perhaps, is the potential for higher things that the three of us might share.

I wish you nothing but the best, and await your response. Please do not feel uncomfortable with any response you may have. I've never written such a letter, and any response from you is understandable.

All the best,
Dave
(630) 926-4187

 

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