1:22 p.m. - 06.21.04
Let's All Go Hobbit Humping
I really can�t think of a good title for this section so I won�t even bother. None is really needed. I was at the bookstore on Saturday getting something for Father�s day when Grace handed me a book. I didn�t really think anything of it and I put it back but she kept telling me to get it. I picked it up and the title was Rules for the Unruly. That made me laugh as did the picture of the crazy light bulb on the cover. It was only $2.50 so I decided what the hell. Something I can read in the bathroom. I got home and since there was nothing on TV that I wanted to watch (I�m so intellectual can�t you tell) I decided to see what the book was about. I was hooked after the first two pages of the introduction. It�s all about how taking risks, living creatively, and cherishing your inner weirdness can be the foundation of happiness and success and not your downfall. I�m going back later this week to buy every copy I can to pass out to all my weird friends and possibly one for my straight laced parents so they can get a better idea of where I come from.

��since even if someone had suggested to me way back when how badly some of my decisions would turn out- and come to think of it, they probably did- I think I would have made the mistakes anyway. Cautionary tales just don�t work. While it is comforting, fascinating, and often hilarious to hear about other people�s screw-ups and the consequences they suffered as a result, it does not seem to stop us from enacting them ourselves, especially if we are the unruly type. We learn from our own lived experience, not the experiences of others.�

I had a dream that there was an outbreak of Dragons and they were taking over cruise ships. So I decided to become a dragon hunter and I was kicking some major dragon ass then I came to this one cruise ship were all the guests had become friends with the dragon and they wouldn�t let me kill it. The End. I think it�s funny how I truly believe you care about that dream. It�s not interesting to you. But people have a tendency to think that their dreams are so weird. A lake made of gravy and a boat made of the hollowed out chest cavity of a gigantic chicken with huge chicken leg oars isn�t as funny to everyone else as it is to the person that had the dream. Well okay maybe that would be a funny story. Last night I dreamed about my old best friend Jessica and how I was hanging out at her house that looked nothing like her actual house. Oooo more boring.

I worked this carnival on Friday night and boy let me tell you kids are seriously crazy when in large groups. One more reason I�d make a shitty teacher. I almost bitch slapped this little boy that was being mean to some younger kids. I got to work the CrAzY Caterpillar. Basically it�s this air filled tube that has obstacles inside. They pump air all through it to keep it inflated so whenever you�d open the caterpillar�s mouth to let kids in you were practically thrown 10 feet back by the rush of air. So you enter the mouth have your fun and leave by way of caterpillar arse. Good Fun, not at all inappropriate for a church carnival. I ended up working an extra hour at this fun game and missed working at the bean bag toss (thank God for small miracles). Grace played some more games. Spent another hour traipsing around in the belly of the caterpillar her favorite activity in at the carnival and we went home. Saturday I had to go Father�s day shopping and that lasted all of 2 hours. I didn�t know what to get him and he probably won�t use what I did get him but eh whatever at least he got something. Saturday night Jenni and I went and saw Dodgeball. That shit cracked my ass all up. And I don�t think it was the pitcher of beer we were drinking while watching it. Go Shiner�BOO Movie Tavern for upping their prices for pitchers though. How do you go from $3 a pitcher to $8? You guys suck rotten platypus eggs. It was a lot of fun though. Listening to Cher for a while and then jamming out to my new Beastie Boys CD. Oh Adam Horovitz�why are you so fine? I do hate that they made the case this paper monstrosity. That blows. Though ch-ch-che-che-check it out I did get the CD for $8 instead of the $14 it was listed at Virgin and everywhere else I had checked. Sunday was of course Fathers Day and I didn�t feel like going to church so I just met my parents for lunch. That was alright I suppose. My brother and the snobby princess were there. I�ve come to really dislike my sister in law sometimes. She acts like such a twit. Went home after that and just hung out�my parents went and saw Dodgeball and acted all offended by the last three minutes. One of my eyes fell out because that�s just super lame. So that was my weekend in a jewel case. I did end up getting part of the CD�s I wanted. Dashboard Confessional was sold out everywhere I looked and of course I didn�t go to Wherehouse Music like intended. Oh well. Deathcab for Cutie and Beastie Boys are now included in my repertoire.

I put my hair in pigtails today just for the hell of it and I didn�t do a very good job. They are messy so it looks like a small child did them. I lack dexterity that early in the morning. My Weatherbug thingy ma-jigger is blink blink blinking at me. Trying to tell me that despite the intense heat outside we will be drowned and all our possessions lost to the raging flood that is sure to overtake us at any moment. Right. So. Anyway. Weatherbug you�re stupid. I haven�t seen anyone I have a remote interest in talking to today. Mr. Boss-man apparently extended me but instead- get this it�ll crack your ass right up- deleted me instead. Oh Lordy. I work for Einstein. Actually he�s a really smart guy but my pinky toe has more common sense than his whole body. And I have a deformed pinky toe. Well okay not deformed but it does hide behind the rest of my toes. He�s shy.

I�m really tired today. And the nasty vegetable soup I bought downstairs for an insane $2.27 is doing nothing to relieve the pressure my sleep lobe is putting on the rest of my brain. At least if you�re going to charge me so much for a little cup of crappy soup make the soup good. So I�m sleepy and it looks like sleep will win if I don�t start doing something besides work. Talk about monotony.

On a fun note I did get some supplies I ordered in today. 10 cans of compressed air. It�s like office supply Christmas. I ordered myself a new staple remover even though the one I had was in good working condition. This one is just neater and aerodynamically cool. On another note the unhygienic, trash bag Nazi�s didn�t give me a new bag for my trash can even though I artfully spilled pop in the bottom so they would. That�s really disgusting just so ya know. CHANGE IT. You don�t have to speak English to know that when there is a bunch of wet at the bottom it�s time to put a new bag on. Hey I had a lot to say today. Hey when did I get a moat?? I don�t remember buying a moat.

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