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11:29 a.m. - 06.15.04 Sitting on Jenni�s couch last night I realized how unfriendly I really am. We were talking about her trip to Austin this past weekend to visit Daniel and she was telling me about his church. Flag waving is one thing but as soon as she told me that they started speaking in tongues and each person started singing a different song I cringed and felt my gag reflex kick in. I�m sorry but I won�t be able to go to church with ya�ll when we go down there. I�m sorry. I�ll say something rude. I won�t mean to. I�m nice I swear. Jenni is taking great pride in the fact that she�s nicer than me now. I never realized. I want to be nice to people, but they just won�t give me anything to work with. I�ve had enough with driving. Everyday another idiot gets on the road and tries to make me die. I�m going to have a brain tumor the size of Oklahoma. What happened to courteous drivers? When someone lets me over I do the little thank you wave. When I slow down to let you over I expect the same thing. When traffic is stopped on the highway the best thing for you to do is not drive on the shoulder so you can get 7 cars ahead just because you think that will help some. We are all waiting; we are all running late, we don�t need your oversized SUV running us down because you want to get ahead of the mini-van. Last night my mom cooked dinner and we actually all sat around and the table and chitty chatted. It was surprisingly nice. Then my mom and I cleaned the kitchen and I talked to Jenni on the phone for a while. My mom really does look like Bette Midler. It�s eerie. It really felt like a nice place there for a while. My parents are not going on their trip now because my grandmother has to have surgery or something. Doesn�t she have another kid that can look after her? What about my brother or my cousin? They really need to go on this trip so I can go on my trip. I�m so selfish. So hey did you hear the one about the guy that laced his wife�s half eaten body with Poison to kill a lion? I don�t know why that bothers me so much. I feel like the guy should be mourning and instead he�s like alright well might as well poison her corpse so when the lion comes back he�ll die. Maybe I care more about the lion dying then the person. Ummm... The hell? Erase that. I did not just say that. Anyway so the lion killed this woman ate her legs went to get a nice cool sip of water and that�s when her husband found his better half (get it?? Get it?? What�s the point of dying in a weird way if I can�t make fun of it?) then he poisoned what was left of her and the rest is history. I�d say this was a joke�But if the BBC says it, it must be true. I was also reading about the effects of Agent Orange in Vietnam. They showed a picture of this child/woman/man/adult (I couldn�t really tell) and they were in some serious need of Spoon Guard. I do feel a little guilty making fun of someone with deformities. No wait your right I don�t. President Bush has been replaced by a robotic clone. THE END.
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