1:43 a.m. - 02.23.04
Orange Lush and the confessional from Hell
This is going to be a hard entry for me but this is my diary and it should be used to for confessions and that�s what I�m going to do. Time to purge. You know when your friends with someone and another friend accuses you of liking them? Like in high school when Jessica accused me of liking Phillip. At first I was like Are you crazy? This is Phillip for Christ sake. Then I started thinking about it�you know he is really nice...and he does have an incredible personality and he�s funny etc. etc. Then it happened. I started liking him. He went from Phillip the crazy guy I talked to in the training room and who would give me sweaty hugs after football practice and teased me about being a drama geek to Phillip the guy who I put makeup on for and the guy I couldn�t get a full sentence out around because suddenly he made me nervous. Well it�s happened again only this time instead of Jessica it was Julissa. I went to lunch with her and Paul on Friday and afterwards when I was back at work she basically accused me of liking him. And I was like WHAT? HUH? Where do you get your information? Then inevitably I started thinking about it�STUPID BRAIN! Well yeah Paul is nice and he�s funny and he�s a geek and he has an uncanny way of making me not sad when I�m down�then it happened. Maybe I do like him now�do I? I don�t know hmmm. At the moment I�m not even sure if I�m still friends with him to be honest. I just can�t believe she had the audacity to say that to me. Then tell me she �cared about me� and �didn�t want to see me get hurt by him�. Which just angers me more because hell it�s her fault I started thinking about it in the first place! So what to do now? It creeps me out my brain can be so easily manipulated. I seriously didn�t think of Paul as anything more than a friend because well I didn�t think we�d ever be anything more than that you know. I guess that�s just how it is now. I hope it passes soon�I don�t need any undue heartache.

On to another topic�the weekend, yeah lets talk about the weekend now. Friday I went to Rocfish, which was awesome! I was a little apprehensive about it but it was truly great. It really cheered me up. It is this Australian trio that sings and dances. They did the story of Daniel, which is a great story. Grace loved it; her friend Brooke came also and they just danced like crazy people. It was hilarious. http://www.rocfishkids.com

Saturday I hung out with Kimberly, which was fabulous! I haven�t gotten to really hang out with her in a while and I�ve missed her. We used to be so close and lately I feel like we have been drifting significantly. We ended up going to Arlington Camera so I could get some film. And for those who don�t know�I HATE ARLINGTON! It was pretty cool this guy almost took the door off my car because he thought it would be a swell idea to not pay attention when people are getting out of the car and came about 4 inches from slamming into me. Needless to say it was not the best neighborhood but it�s a great store. On the way we saw all these crappy daycares and it made me wonder why on earth people would allow their children to go to a place so bad. The only thing a kid will get there is splinters and syphilis�yes splinters and syphilis. Saturday night Grace and me went to Jenni�s and watched some movies. Me, Michael and Jenni all fell asleep while Grace watched Snow White. Then she went into Jenni�s bedroom and watched Beauty and the Beast while we watched the Family Guy. I love that cartoon it�s pure comedic genius. I got this great e-mail from Michael on Saturday that had a link to a news story about William Hung. I thought it was so cool that he sent it because he knows how much I adore William. He is seriously the coolest person American Idol has every seen! And he sounds way better then the people they had last week. I mean Jesus H. Roman they were bad! He also got me a lollipop, which was so cool! I�m glad I started hanging out with Jenni and in turn got to start hanging out with Michael. They are both very cool people and good friends! YAY

Sunday went to church and then went to California Pizza Kitchen with my mom and Grace then proceeded to cry right there at the table like some kind of retard. I hate crying and I�ve never been a big crier. Of course this weekend would beg to differ. Went home and watched HGTV with my mom which was nice she wanted to �chat� but I just wasn�t in the mood. Then I met Wade and Paige at the mall and we walked around for a while. I think he was a little perturbed that I was going to Jenni�s afterwards. I�ll have to set aside a day just specifically for him. I do have a good time with him. When we went to the Village I had a blast. Just hanging out with him and then going back to his house and just laying around on his bed shooting the shit. He�s got rough edges but deep down I think he�s a good guy�bitchy�but good nonetheless. After that I went to Jenni�s to study for English but we are slackers and ended up watching Dreamcatcher instead. I really like that movie. Michael hated it. Before the movie we went to go get dinner and some scratch off�s and we ended up giving these two guys rides to their apartment. Not the smartest move especially now that my car smells like burned cheese and sweat. GROSS. I felt bad for them though. Their car had broken down at the mall and they had walked quite a ways already. Justin and Anthony were their names I think, not that it makes some kind of monumental difference.

Well it�s not almost 2am and I have to get up for my marvelous job working for Satan. Where are my perks?

http://www.kingsofchaos.com/recruit.php?uniqid=vh7a5es2 Follow the instructions. It would help me out a lot. Click on it daily if you will! :)

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