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10:40 a.m. - 02.11.04
PSDC..Wyld Chylde
Things are just not getting better at my house. It's coming to a breaking point and I don't know what to do about it. I can't possibly move out right now but I feel like I can't stay there either. I don't know when my relationship with my mother got like this but I'm sick of it. And I really think the only way to fix it is to not be around her all the time. Seeing her just makes it that much harder to forgive her. We need our space and living under the same roof just doesn't give us that. It's impossible to talk to her either. Because no matter what it always turns into a what Elizabeth is doing wrong discussion and I just can't take another one of those. I've decided to write them a letter. I don't want it to come across as rude so i'll probably ask some people to read it so they can let me know if it comes across as mean. I just want them to know my side and since I never get to speak when they want to have their little "discussions" I figured this would be the best way to do it. I love my parents but I really can't stand them. I was checking messages on the phone last night and there was one from my moms friend Lise. She was talking about what was going on in our house and how she was glad she wasn't my mom. It makes me wonder what she said because truly I haven't done anything really bad. I just want to cry everytime I think about this situation because It's like they just don't get it. They only can see the bad stuff and never anything good about me. Am I really that horrible? Is the way my room looks really the deciding factor on how my parents treat me? Because I'll tell you if thats what it is then fuck them. I try my hardest and thats all I can do. Blah. I've been really emotional the past couple of days. Sunday I cried at an Applebees commercial. An commercial. Stupid period. It's Hump day and I think I'm going to cut out of work early. 3:30 sounds good. YAY! Jenni and Brian are better so thats good. I don't want to see her upset by him. I hope he has changed for the better. He apparently can be a real ass at times and thats never encouraging. I'm sleepy today but not as sleepy as I feel I should be. I can't really remember late last night too well. I think I talked to Paul for a while but I can only remember bits and peices of it. I think we were taking quizzes or something. Speaking of I think I'll take one now. I've found my new quiz haven by the way it's at www.thespark.com. Wyld Chylde (Perverse Spoiled Dysfunctional Child) The little guy in you loves to rock, for it is The Wyld Chylde, running wild. Otherwise known as a PSDC, your inner child can't sit still for more than a second and hence, neither can you. You jump around and yell and stuff-- most of the time breaking things, people and places. Finding a normal life with the "Chylde" in tow can be hard. He tends to flame out early on or, even worse, melt into a smooth jazz/worldbeat balladeer after years of soul searching and heavy self-medication. But don't change a thing-- enjoy the ride, for it will be insane.  Hmmmmm...Interesting
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