3:21 p.m. - 08.03.05
KNOW ANYTHING USEFUL ABOUT STUDENT LOANS
Today I saw the very first car I�d ever owned being driven by some newly licensed 16 year old. I know it was my car because of the jesus fish placed just so on the back so the keyhole served as an eye. And the license plate was the same. It�s weird, the car is a piece of shit now, a 1992 Ford Explorer, white with blue pin stripe. But when I first got it was the coolest thing ever, at least it was to my friends and I. So many memories in that car, most I�m sure you don�t want to hear about. I just hope the stains came out.

I figured in honor of the movie Must Love Dogs I�d take a gander at who is currently seeking love online right now. Sure I could have gone to a reputable site, instead I went to Edipity.com and Love.org. I�d never heard of it but google seemed to like it.

Username: green110
He�s 37 from San Diego, CA.
He didn�t write much about himself. Just that he was looking for something and likes to drink at religious events.

Username: perfectmate
He�s 38 from Fullerton, CA
And yes that really is his only picture. I don�t know whats scarier the fact that he put a picture up that�s blurry or that it looks like he might have the camera in one hand and his cock in the other. Anyway this guy wants something who can be an �indoividual�. He says his flaw with the ladies is overdoing his love. So he is a stalker? He also likes watching the boob tube.

Username: mstrgreen
He�s 40 from Fort Worth, TX
He also wants to let everyone know that he is in fact NOT a serial killer or stalker, glad we got that all cleared up. His favorite reading material is Playboy and his favorite musicians are Sheryl Crow and Lisa Loeb.

Username: CAPT_HOWDY
Okay the only reason I�m putting this guy is because way back when I had AOL this weird guy would always harass me whenever he saw me online and he looked just like this dude. That was back before you could block people, or at least before I knew how to block people. He would always ask me to meet him and then kick him as hard as I could in the nuts. I would have done it if he wouldn�t have enjoyed it.

Username: Eldarin
Okay basically it goes like this, he has written a huge essay about his perfect woman whom I�m almost certain he first saw while playing World of Warcraft or some other online game. Not that he could really afford to play that game because he works as a security guard bringing in under $12,000 per year. How do you even live off that? He drives his roommates car whenever he can snag the keys, he wears stylin� shades and is a member of a confederation of anarchists. I�m going to stop because he�s like every nightmare I�ve ever had about who I�m going to marry.

So enjoy these fine fellas. If you really want to know how to contact them�I�m sorry.

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