6:51 p.m. - 05.02.05
ENTRY TWO IN A MULTIPLE ENTRY MONDAY

I wasted 2 hours of my life on Vh1�s 40 Least Hip Hop Moments so I figured I�d recap it here so you can waste 15 minutes of your life hearing about them. I suppose you could skip it but where�s the fun in that? These are only my favorites of the ones mentioned. Alas I still think a few of them are super cool moments.

• Kevin Federline is putting out an album. Just because you are fucking Britney it doesn�t give you talent. If I ever really meet someone that says Kevin Federline is hot, I will have no problem acting out every sick torture fantasy I�ve ever had on them.


• Madonna Rapping in the song �American Life�. Madonna we need to talk about this. I�ve been in your corner for a long time. I stood by you with that horrible movie that shall not be named [not Desperately Seeking Susan because I freaking love that one] and all your weird identity changes. But this went too far. Call me when you go back to being the ground breaker you once were. Not some band wagon jumper onner.


• Anything Brain Austin Green sings. It�s sad because he�s my brother.


• Kenny Rogers and Coolio togetha 4-eva. If it had even been slightly cool I�d be all over this. But Coolio is not so cool, especially when he throws a fit over my boy Weird Al. Anyway this sucked.


• Phil Collins [whom I adore] and Bone Thugs and Harmony [who I don�t so much]. Especially when you force my pal Phil into wearing creepy clothes and trying to look street� Okay that was actually kinda cool.


• Snow- �Informer�; Hah I have this song on a CD that I purchased especially for this song. It�s like the best songs of 1993 or something. I don�t feel like looking. God he�s so Ontario Street


• Kriss Kross- Corky gave me this CD because erm well I don�t really know why. I guess because I still have the tape somewhere and I think I mentioned that I freaking LOVE �Jump�. I wasn�t cool enough to wear my clothes backwards though, now if Jordan Knight had worn his backwards I would have been all over that. Sorry Kriss and Kross you just weren�t sexy enough to change my attire


• Pretty much anything P.Diddy [shudder] does now. He just seems like such a joke to me. Especially since he�s the star of the Proactive commercials.


• Vanilla Ice. Yes, so I have the CD �To The Extreme�, but I swear it�s not because it�s good. Okay so I know every single word and can still sing alone with him to �Ice Ice Baby�, but I swear it�s not because I like it.


• German rap band? I�m intrigued


• KJ52. Apparently Christianities answer to Eminem. I�ve never heard of him. He prays for Em in his song �Dear Shady�. Any secret KJ52 fans out there? Wanna send me some songs?


• Elmo Time! I�m convinced that if they had used Grover it wouldn�t have made this list. That nigga is street yo.


• Color Me Badd. Oh Jesus. You remember that song �I wanna Sex you Up� right? I stole that tape from some bitch at summer camp one year. I don�t know why I hated it. Ice Cube apparently directed one of their videos. See I told you he wasn�t scary anymore.


• Justin Timberlake�well actually I really like him.


• �D� Lil- which is Bud Bundy�s rap name. Well the guy who played Bud Bundy. As we all know Bud Bundy�s rap name was Grandmaster B. What is with these little wannabe street white boys? Pull your pants up on put a fucking Aerosmith tape in. Your not fooling anyone.


• Oh Marky Mark�I�ll still make out with you. Even without the funky bunch. Actually especially without the funky bunch.


• Lil� Kim scares me. That�s all I can say because I fear for my life


• Bill O�Reily, I can�t believe you messed with Ludacris. That�s just wrong. Lud is awesome.


• I had NO idea that Tim McGraw and Nelly did a song together. That�s just, well it�s something alright. How did I not hear this song at least. I�m kinda glad I didn�t though after the clips.


• The Young Black Teenagers. No I�m not making a generalization. That was an actual band that had sucky music and was actually a bunch of white boys from New Jersey.


• Aaron Carter really is the whitest person ever. I couldn�t put it any better than that british guy from Ellen so I�ll just quote him: �I�d say I think Aaron Carter should give up rap and go back to pop music, but I don�t want him to do that either. It�s not rap, it�s not hip hop it�s just terrible grammar�.


• Lordy hell Carmen Electra raps. Actually if this had been released in the hay day of Paula Abdul it would have done really well. It�s that same kinda thing and even though she is married to yucky Dave Navarro she�s still pretty hot.


• Ron Jeremy has a rap song that I�m currently searching for on LimeWire. Obviously because I just have to have it in my possession, not because I like it or anything.

THE END


 

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