10:39 a.m. - 02.04.05
LETS KEEP NOTES ON WHO PISSES US OFF.
I�m sorry I�m such a downer. The only thing I want to do is cry. I feel weird inside. I know it�s depression but it just feels like something horrible is about to happen and I hate it. I keep thinking that everyone hates me and it�s making me so sad. I don�t want to feel like this anymore. Hopefully in a couple days it will all pass. Yuck.

Jim�s party was last night. I�m sure it would have been a lot more fun if I danced, or had been in a happy mood. They had this great Cuban band playing, and it was nice just listening to the music but still I couldn�t drink that much since I had to drive the Montero home, and it�s hard to maneuver sober. Michael went with me so that was cool; though he ended up text messaging his boyfriend for most of the time we were there. Not that I blame him, if my phone wasn�t completely jank I would have been text messaging Jenni the entire time. I�m pretty sure Carson�s waters down their drinks too. I had 4 drinks and a shot and I felt like I�d had maybe 2. We left around 10:30 which still didn�t put us home till around 11:30. Leave it to Jim to have a party way out in B.F.E. I couldn�t give him his present because of course I grab the matting board I�d cut that was too big for the frame. Should have tested it before I left home but I wanted an opinion from Michael on which picture to give him.

That�s the one I�m giving him. My boss hates it.

When I got home last night Jenni was still up and we ended up reading this guys diary out loud to each other. One sentence at a time. Sounds retarded I know but it was fun. Especially since the content of this journal was disturbing and disgusting. I�ve met this guy, and it�s a whole bunch of eww.

I feel like I smell bad today. My hair and my clothes smell clean I just feel gross. It�s probably the sick mouth I have going on. You know, where it tastes like a small rodent has died in your mouth. It�s a lovely feeling. It was worse last night. It was nasty. I could barely stand myself. I had to steal gum from D to try and get the taste out. It was so bad, the gum didn�t even help. I�m so nasty when I�m sick, or at least starting to get sick. I blame Jenni.

Okay I realize why I stink. When it gets to the point you can smell your shoes from a standing position, it�s time to throw them out. Too bad I don�t work near a shoe store. I�d do it now. Damn these are gross. I�m afraid to spray perfume on them, I don�t want J�Adore + foot stench coming at me. Gag.

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