11:45 a.m. - 01.26.05
I HAVE A MASSIVE HEADACHE AND MY BOSS REFUSES TO EVEN SPEAK TO ME TODAY. HE'S IMING ME WHEN HIS OFFICE DOOR IS OPEN. I HATE HIM.
I love getting nasty e-mails. Love it. Love. It. This is one that particularly caught my eye today:

Listen fuckers.

I aint going to bullshit you. We both know that you dont have a girlfriend. We both know you dont have much luck getting women in bed. Getting laid is another story altogether. What would you say if I told you have I the key to you finally getting laid?

Interested?

Go to the website below. There is a bunch of hot women who are desperatly seeking a good fuck. This might be the only chance you have at actually getting some pussy.

Spelling mistakes are Habbs. Not Mine.

Anyway now that some stranger has informed of my hideous ability to get chicks into bed I�ll try and finish this entry without bursting into tears. (If you can�t tell I�m being totally sarcastic, I could get a chick into bed no problem).

I had this great idea to buy a Mrs. Baird�s Orchard Cherry Pie from the vending machine a few minutes ago. I mean come on I said to myself. It�s made with real CHERRIES, as the package dutifully tells me. In my blinding hunger I pushed D4 and have now proven to myself that really and truly I have no good ideas. I don�t know if just this pie was rotten or what, this was my first attempt at a packaged fruit pie, but it really just tasted like ass covered in processed over cooked pie filling. Definitely not worth the 22 fat grams it states on the wrapper. I wonder how many I got from my one bite. I�ll stick with plain old Gardettos next time. Thank you.

And now since I really have nothing of importance to say today:

Hilariamous

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