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10:43 a.m. - 12.06.04
STRAIGHT JACKET ELI
I�m actually trying to make this entry seem semi-intelligible today. I know right. SHOCKING. I�ve realized while reading over previous entries, my lack of punctuation is appalling to say the least. So here goes.

This is the part where I tell You about My Weird Dream

Last night I was having a hard time sleeping due to my breasts. They weren�t getting in the way they just decided to hurt and not give me a moment�s peace. I proceeded to complain the entire night, and when that did not get me any sympathy I tried to pass it off as a heart attack. That unfortunately didn�t get me any sympathy either. Damn it. Feel bad for me and my sore boob�s people. Though I did get a little fondle from the cat, when I told him they hurt and he started kneading his claws into them. Thanks. Now they fell better. Oh that�s right I�m supposed to be talking about my weird dream and not my boobs. I had a point I swear, so I�ll just get right to it shall I. I dreamed that I went to Kimberly�s parent�s house and she walked around naked the whole time. I was disturbed by this for several reasons. 1. Her father didn�t seem to mind 2. Her assholey boyfriend seemed to be making her do it. 3. There were people there that did not want to see Kimberly cooch, i.e. ME. She would not however put any clothes on. Then her mother served dinner and it was 43 different kinds of Meatballs. And not you�re run of the mill meatballs, but magical meatballs. That would give the consumer great powers. I only wish I had these meatballs in reality. I once dreamed about another magical food, Lemons. Though these lemons would cause the person who consumed it to grow fangs and attack unsuspecting pedestrians. I don�t know what I smoked before that dream but apparently it wasn�t just tobacco. Sunday while having an afternoon nap, I dreamed that my cousin, who actually in fact is a police officer, pulled me over and took care of the warrant that I�m sure, is now issued for one Elizabeth L. My Last Name. If you don�t hear from me for a while, well that�s probably where I am, serving out my sentence. Unless the dream actually happened and then- Warrant? What Warrant?

MythBusters

Has anyone seen this show? I�ve been watching it for a while now and I recently got my roommate hooked on it as well. Geeky cute boy debunking Urban Myths (sounds like a dating profile headline�I�d click on it for sure). Oh yeah and the other guy who I�d probably still make out with just because he�s on the show and the show is awesome. Yay MythBusters


I <3 Adam�By the way�I hear that you worked on Galaxy Quest. Could I <3 you anymore right now? Nope don�t think so.

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I�ve been messing around with this gift generator thingy and surprisingly it�s given me some good ideas. Giftmixer3000
I�m horrible at picking stuff out for people. They always end up getting weird stuff and unless they are me, they don�t like it. Or I try to be crafty and I make them something and that always turns out disastrous. I should stick to gift certificates or photographs for family. Hint Hint buy me a digital camera since I don�t have a lab I can use currently.

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Dear You Know Who You Are-
It must be nice to drag yourself into work at almost 10am. I wish I had that luxury. Tell me, how do you manage it without getting fired? I really want to know. Thanks.
Elizabeth

Yuck

Suddenly I�m not feeling so well. My tummy is all gross now. Damn you croissant. Damn you. Scott said today that he thinks he has strep throat. Which is glorious because not 4 seconds after his statement I felt my throat start to constrict and burn. I get Strep throat so easily and usually at least once a year. No fun. Why did he come to work today if he thinks he has a highly contagious disease? Not only do I get strep but I usually end up getting Scarlet Fever and that�s just the nastiest thing I�ve ever had the displeasure of having three times. This means that today, I�m going to just pretend I�m in the early stages of sick and do some surfing on Blog explosion instead of any actual work. It may be a measly excuse for attempting to get myself fired but at least it�s an excuse I can live with. I want more of these credit prizes. Bring it credit genie.

�������

Speaking of�is it wrong to not like to read the blogs about people and their terminal, I�m going to die any day so lets all feel bad for me, subjects? I�m sorry. But I want to be entertained and I like to think that if I had some incurable disease at least I�d make my misery funny for other people�s enjoyment. I don�t want to be depressed. I want to laugh and say �Oh that crazy cancer patient. Man she�s funny� Maybe that�s a mean thing to say. I�m not sure, seeing as I have no morals and very little conscience.

In other news I�m actually wearing matching socks today. GO ME! Oh yeah and this has nothing to do with my socks but, my stupid brother knocked his even stupider wife up again. Great. Just what the world doesn�t need, another one of his children running around. Don�t get me wrong, my nephew is adorable but he�s also got a lot of behavioral problems stemming from the fact my brother is a reformed crack head who barely pulled his ass out of the box under the bridge. Okay so I don�t know for certain he was a crack head�but he did live under a bridge for a while. Classy huh. Both of my brother�s children have had medical problems. My nephews comes from my brothers stupidity and his wife�s� bitchiness. My nieces come from, well I haven�t thought of a culprit on that one yet because I really like that brothers wife.

Well I�ve shocked myself by finishing an entry before 11. Now off to slack.

 

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