4:32 p.m. - 07.14.04
I THINK HAVING HOES IN DIFFERENT AREA CODES WOULD BE PIMP.
I was watching Jimmy Kimmel Live last night and the musical guest confused the hell out of me. It was so stupid I almost threw up. The drummer had a Mohawk as did the lead guitar player, both were punked out and trying to be all bad ass. The lead singer was a woman dressed like she was a belly dancer with all this hideous eye makeup on. They were singing I Want Candy by well originally the Strangelove�s and then more famously by Bow Wow Wow. Anyway point of the story is this they sucked royally and I don�t understand why people were throwing metal hands to them after they were finished. If I had just happened to be in Jimmy Kimmel�s audience and they came on I�d sit my happy ass down and refuse to clap.

Dear Hoover Band,

Try sucking less. That was a hideous performance. WTF mate.

Thanks a million,
Elizabeth

P.S. Are you retarded? No seriously. I�m not judging; I just wanted to know. Why are you running around in circles like that? Stop flailing. It�s creepy.

Some people should never be allowed to write a story ever. I�ve been reading this god awful piece of fiction and it�s a wonder one of my eyes hasn�t fallen out from rolling them so much. I would stop reading but I promised I would at least finish it. One of the stupidest lines I�ve ever heard: �The evening eventually gave way to the couple joining and rhythmically moving as one.� What is that? Oh well there goes the eye. It went ahead and fell out. I couldn�t just stand by and let this person destroy all that is good and holy about the literary world. I had to tell her that she obviously didn�t grasp the characters fully and the dialogue didn�t flow well. It was just horrible. And I�ve exhausted myself in hating this story. I realize it�s not worth it but damn if I�m going to sit idly by.

Dear MetaMuse a.k.a. One really bad author,

I just finished reading your story and let me tell you wow! WOW! I can�t even put into words what I feel for this. I would really like for you to mail me back the 3 hours I spent reading your story, in the stamped, self addressed envelope I would be more than happy to provide for you. Thanks a ton!!

LYLAS
Elizabeth

I had a dream about Paul last night. I traveled around the country with him following this Lollapalooza type concert around. Then he played drums for A Simple Plan because their drummer was sick. It was interesting. I don�t know why I would do that with him since we hold no similar interests in music. Of course it was just a dream�

Jesus H. Roman it�s hot as a mofo outside. I hate the summer. Hot=bitchy me and no one wants that. I don�t want that especially.

This lady at work knows about my undying love for Clay Aiken so she cut out this article for me all about his shitty vacation. It was really nice! Not that he had a shitty vacation but that she thought of me.

I gave up and bought lunch again in the cafeteria today. I figured hey those guys are Hispanic I�m sure they�ll be able to make a decent enchilada. Woooh boy was I mistaken. It was like eating a piece of wet cardboard. I paid $7 for the nastiest food ever. I won�t be making that mistake again. I took some comment cards and I�m going to let them know exactly how I feel. I haven�t decided what to say yet but the quality of food vs. the price they are charging is getting ridiculous.

I�m standing outside with Scott shooting the shit today when this woman walks by with the craziest hair I�ve ever seen. It was the color of cherry Kool-Aid and no matter how cool you think that might look it wasn�t. She looked like she locked herself in the bathroom with a bottle of vodka and the Kool-Aid Man. It was hideous.

1. Shopping

2. I <3 the 90�s

3. Coffee? Let�s hope so

4. Reading

Hey Stan�those are the plans.

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