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1:45 p.m. - 05.25.04 OklaCool�.OklaSoul�.OklaLIARS, trying to be shiesty, trying to fool people into thinking Oklahoma is more than the crappiest state ever! I�ve been there. You can�t fool me. I pity the poor schmucks that believe you. I�ll make it a point from now on to run off the road every person with Oklahoma plates or a Sooner sticker. The sooner thing is the most uncreative concept I�ve ever had the displeasure of learning about. I was happy not knowing what it meant. I hate you more now that I know. Sometimes when I�m listening to a song I hear stuff that isn�t really there. Like this morning while driving to work I hear: 1. �Crazy Germans walking through my head� Actual Lyrics �Crazy are the people walking through my head� (Mushroom Head- Crazy {I like mine better}) 2. �I found a thorn tree, the thorn tree always will.� Actual Lyrics �I fight authority, authority always wins.� (John Mellencamp- Authority Song) 3. �Cookin� up big joints � tame!� Actual Lyrics �Cookie, I think you�re tame.� ( The Pixies- Tame) 4. �Let me get my hands on your memory banks.� Actual Lyrics �Let me get my hands on your mammary glands� ( The Smiths- Handsome Devil {and I must say the actual lyrics are way better}) 5. �Talk of the way the sahib laughed.� Actual Lyrics �Talk of the way they saw him last. (Stereophonics- Local Boy in the Photograph) 6. �Every time I try to write a song, I�m dissed away by love.� Actual Lyrics �Every time I try to rise above, I�m swept away by love.� (Backstreet Boys- Drowning {sorry Jenni, but it made perfect sense}) I will always carry a notebook around with me to write them down. I know there are more I�m positive of it�Stupid memory problems. Pass the ginkgo biloba. One of my favorite lines in a song is from Uptown Girl� when Billy Joel says �She�s been living in her white bread world.� That just cracks me up, oh Billy, who wrote that for you? Did they see you before they decide it was for you? Because crashing your vintage cars into trees in Long Island and checking yourself into super expensive rehab programs is just so downtown, let me tell ya. The people I work with remind me so much of High school. In fact I feel like I�m back in high school when I�m here. I just don�t have to go to class and I have the internet. They have the super cool people which act like they own the place and pretty much do whatever the hell they want, the gossips. The jocks (I call them this because they strut around all day and do no real work but still everyone loves them). The nerdy un-cool people (no I�m not one of them) these are the ones that don�t speak English well so they talk to only each other, sometimes you�ll find them giving each other back massages out in the parking garage. Then there are the band/choir/theater people that aren�t part of the super cool crowd but they are very exclusive and only talk to each other. And finally there is the laid back stoner group, I call them that because well that�s what they did a lot of in high school, while I�m part of this last group I�m actually not a stoner, they are the ones that have at least one friend from each group. I have never been gladder to live in the state of Texas than I am this summer. Reading about the freaky cicada�s that are going around makes me want to just die from association. I can�t imagine if one landed on me. I�d never get clean enough again. Same goes for roaches and maggots. I have to stop talking about this. It�s making me queasy.
That is only ugly fucking bastard. If you can�t name your pet something cool it should be automatic the pet is taken away until you can be creative. No more of these candy ass names for pets. I�ll be glad to come up with a name if you need one.
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